Becoming Aka

Every Thursday we are sent out across Coimbatore to do a service placement. I was assigned to work at Cottolengo which is a home for mentally and physically handicapped people. It started out very difficult because I was so overwhelmed by the suffering and hardships of the people there and I didn’t know how to interact with them. Basically the center has 50 people ages 3-53 who they take care of with various handicaps- cerebral palsy, terrets, autism, deafness, ADHD, memory loss, etc. It was hard because I was never really told what to do and I don’t speak the language. Several of them are completely spaced out just moaning and rolling their heads while their eyes refuse to focus on anything. It’s hard to see the suffering.

                However, I’ve had many good times and have been blessed through the people. First of all, my student guides are amazing. Buni and Amil are students from the college that take me to the site. I cannot say how thankful I am for them because they have helped me so much with taking the bus and finding our way through the slum. We have a morning ritual of stopping to get mango juice along the way which they are kind enough to pay for. Then one time, they took me out to a hole in the wall to eat byiriani. I said a prayer of protection over my food served on a banana leaf in a sketchy dirty restaurant and was amazed to eat the best byiriani I’ve ever had. It’s just so nice to talk to these guys and to see life through their eyes. Because of the culture, it’s very hard to get to know guys here, and so I appreciate these friendships even more. We talk about America, India, phones, music, our life goals, girls and guys, families, and even our weight (this is traditionally acceptable here but I definitely have never had a conversation about my weight with a guy before!).  I can see that they truly care about me, and I in turn, care about them.

                I would describe working at Cottolengo as eating an icecream sundae with different layers of peanuts, brownies, and chocolate syrup. I don’t like peanuts and that represents all of the hard things that I see there. It’s hard to know how to best help kids who are crippled or mentally handicapped. I don't like seeing the kids be beaten by the workers or left alone for hours just sitting drooling in a chair.

However, there are moments when I find myself eating chocolate syrup or a brownie, like when I throw a little boy into the air and watch him smile and laugh. Or when I see a 16 year old boy change from being sullen and dethatched to laughing and connecting. When I first went to Cottolengo, Dinnesh who is mentally handicapped didn’t smile or make eye contact. Now, thanks to my putting duplos on my head and walking around the room doing funny poses, he laughs till he almost falls down and loves to put duplos on his head and then tip his head down so the duplo falls into my hand. He comes around looking for me with a smile tugging at his lips and a sparkle in his eye.

 Another of my favorites is John who is 14 and was born normal. A few years ago his mother died and he went into a state of shock when he saw her dead body. His father has left him and now he has memory loss. He remembers me when I come, but doesn’t remember things about me. However, he has the brightest smile, perfect hand-eye coordination, and awesome drumming skills. We spend an hour or so every time playing catch or soccer and teaching each other new tricks.  I’ve also tried to help teach him mathematics and the alphabet which is hard considering the language barrier. John just smiles and looks at me then tells us that he will forget this soon-and he does. It’s so hard because he knows he has memory loss but can’t fight it. I want him to be taken to a counselor so he can work through these issues and live a normal life outside of this handicapped home.

   I also love playing with the little kids. We dance and sing and march in circles and play silly games. We go out to the playground and I push kids on swings, play on the jungle gym with them, and take them down the slide. Although, it doesn’t go that smoothly. One girl’s body is twisted and so she needs help to walk and it takes her awhile to climb the ladder to the slide. But her joy is evident on her face as I help her slide down. Another little boy just lays in the dirt whenever someone isn’t with him. Others just wander around aimlessly. So there I am on the playground alone with 7-10 children with various deformities and handicaps –trying to keep one out of the dirt, another from falling, and still others from hitting each other with balls or branches. It’s hectic and stressful, but what gets me through is hearing them cry out, “Aka! Aka!” which means ‘older sister’. That’s what keeps me going.

                And so on Thursday when it was time for me to leave, I realized that I wasn’t ready. I had gotten to the bottom of my icecream sundae and I was sad and wanted more. I didn’t want to say goodbye to these children because I realized that they have become special to me and have found a place in my heart. I only hope that they will remember me- Aka- and know that I will dearly miss them!